Dear Entertainment Industry,
Why do you tease me and string me along so? I fall for it every time. You build me up and then leave me there. You seem to find so much joy watching me invest and dream and hope with everything I have just to say you didn't like me enough. Sometimes you say it's my hair color. As if I could not and would not change that in a second. Sometimes you say I am too pretty. Sometimes too small. Sometimes too big. Sometimes one of you loves me and the other likes me and that is too confusing for you so you drop me. This relationship is getting too hard. I have tried to leave so many times but you are just to attractive and unfortunately I think you are in my bones. Every time I hide -you find me. Every time I run -it is just back into your arms. Why can't you either let me go or fully embrace me? I understand. I know I am not the only one you are doing this to. It's just...it feels so real and so good when it is good. I wish I knew how to quit you. You are the only thing I do well. You make me feel alive. But you really know how to make it hurt so much.
I dedicate this song to all the Producers an Executives who hold my strings.
I was up for the lead in a pilot for CBS. I did great. Everyone liked me a lot. Today I found out not enough. time to move on.