At the Ledge

I think it is a part of business and sales to never show weakness - never show any vulnerability. Well, I guess I will need to work on learning that and executing that better cause right now I am going to break all those rules.
I do not doubt that my state is a bit weak due to lack of sleep, poor diet, completely missed exercise and just the fact that I am about to put myself out to the world in a major way that is causing me to break down and cry every 15 min tonight. My temper is fast and hard. My mood swings violent. I am so overwhelmed about launching Honey B I just don't know what to do with myself. Potsch tries to keep me happy and working, reminding me "The Universe wants us to succeed. Remember that." I tear up.
I am surprised by my emotional state honestly. I was doing fine I thought. But as soon as we started doing our inventory list (which is a lot of stuff) I lost it. "What if no one shows up? what if no one cares? What if my designs don't sell and I am the reason for loss?" These thoughts and more just like it are running rampant.
The nail in the coffin which made me turn to my cyber pals for sanity was when I tried to be productive. I tried to push past the frustrations and fear. Focus on the positive. "You want people there? then invite them." I told myself. I sent out an email, from my brand new fully tested Honey B email, to just about 85 hand selected recipients. Not two minutes later the dinging started and has not stopped. If I was not feeling like a failure before - seeing it in writing over and over again sure helped.(wow i had two more paragraphs written and for some reason they just vanished. Odd cause they were all positive. let me try again.)

I know that the party will be exactly what it is supposed to be and it will be perfect. I apologize for my pity party I just had but I also want to thank you for letting me feel comfortable enough to turn to you. This is a sign I have had for a while waiting for the perfect time. Now is that time.