...as longs as I send Puppet Artist a photo of you and pay around $200 so they can design and hand make a puppet portrait of you. Then you will be under my full control and you will fit perfectly onto a wine bottle.
But for reals - "From your photographs and a description of the person's costume, jewelry, hair, and any other accessories you might like, we can sculpt a realistic, puppet portrait of that person. The faces are sculpted to match the specific expression portrayed in photographs that you provide. They are clothed in precisely the costumes that you request. These can be humorous, realistic, or symbolic; whatever you desire."
How creepy and amazing are these? When would a puppet portrait gift really come in handy? The Puppet Artist suggest Mother's Day. I am thinking Father's Day.